Letting go of the future...

Past, Present, Future...We talk about these three time periods all the time. We talk about letting go of the past. We talk about not regreting what has happened in the past. We talk about the present time. There's no time like the present to make changes. Today is a gift...that's why they call it the present. We talk about the future...how it is so bright. The best is yet to be. I have been thinking a lot about my future recently. I am proud to say that I have finally learned how to let the past be the past. I have learned to not regret the past, but rather learn from it.I have also been trying to appreciate the present. I have been trying to live more in the moment and appreciate what I am going through right now. My biggest issue right now is learning how to change my views about the future. I have been thinking a lot about my future recently. I love my new house. I mean I really love it. I sometimes sit in my living room or bedroom and I feel my eyes start to water because I am completely overwhelmed with how much I love this house and where I am. It is worth every penny I pay each month. I feel like it is my home! I will do a house post soon I promise! As I was falling asleep the other night I started thinking about how much I love my house and I caught myself thinking about how bummed I will be when I move. I was thinking that it will be in a year when my lease is up. Then it dawned on me. Why would I think that I would be moving in a year when my lease is up? Why wouldn't I just plan on signing the lease again in a year? More importantly why wasn't I thinking this way to begin with? I have never renewed a lease at any of the previous 3 places that I have lived. Something has always come up and I haven't renewed the lease. For the first time I realized that I am in control of my future. I feel like I have been in crisis mode for the last 4 or so years. There is always something crazy going on in my life.But now I feel like things are calmer...and that's ok. I guess I felt like in order for my life to be calm it meant that things were exactly as I had planned. A house, a totally awesome husband, me being a stay-at-home mom with more kids. That was my future and I thought I wouldn't feel settled until that happened. But guess what? That isn't in the cards for me right now and honestly I have no control over that future happening. It is time for me to let go of the things of the future that I can't control so that I can focus on the things that I can control. I have 2 awesome kids that I love so much. They are growing up so fast. I want to provide them with a stable loving home. I can control that. I want to be the best mom I can be,which is possible to do even though I work full time. I can control that. I want to be a good employee and I want to be the best I can be at work. I can control that. I want to graduate with my bachelors next fall. I can control that. I want to gain a stronger testimony and grow more spiritually. I can control that. It was such an eye opener for me to realize how much I can control in my life. It is silly and useless for me to focus all my time and energy on making unrealistic things happen. Plus the one thing that I have learned over and over again is that it's not about knowing what the future holds but rather who holds the future. So here's to letting go of the things of the future that I can't control and embracing the things that I can.