Life isn't about finding yourself...It's about creating yourself

I wanted to take a little break from my ABC's post. I've been thinking about a lot of things the last couple of weeks and I wanted to share some of those thoughts on my blog. Today is Pioneer Day here in Utah. It's a state holiday celebrating the Pioneers arriving here in Utah. Last year I spent Pioneer day moving into my parents house. It was awful! My marriage was over. I felt so broken and sad and lonely. My life was a mess. I had been staying at home being a mom. My life was by no means perfect but it wasn't awful either. But suddenly that was all over last July. I had to start over. I had to throw my old plans away and start to make some new ones. It was hard. It was so hard! But when I look at where my life is today compared to a year ago I feel pretty proud. By no means am I trying to brag here but I look at this last year and feel really proud of myself. I did things that I never thought I could do. I made through obstacles I never thought I could tackle! I feel like I have accomplished so much. I have a quote posted on my blog; it's actually the title of this post. Life isn't about finding yourself...it's about creating yourself. I can't tell you how many times I heard "Now you can find yourself." Like maybe if I look hard enough under my bed or on the top shelf of my closet I might just find myself. I guess I never realized that I was lost. But as my life has progressed over the last year I have really discovered that I don't need to find myself. I already had the strength I needed within myself. I was never lost. However I did learn that I have the ability to create myself and my life. I decided that although being a Medical Assistant is a good job it wasn't what I really wanted to do for the rest of my life. But I have always wanted to be a teacher. So I went back to school. Next month I will finish my first year at the University of Phoenix. I currently have a 3.5 GPA. I have also been able to pay off more than half of my debt. I am proud of this. For the first time in a really long time I have been able to establish a budget and follow it. I am also skinnier than I have ever been in my adult life. I weigh 15 pounds less than I did when I got married. I also found out that I am ok by myself. I don't need to be with someone else to make me happy or a good mom. I can do hard things--even though I didn't think I could. I look at my accomplishments over the last year and feel pretty good. It reminds me how I feel after I have accomplished a big project for school or at home---times about a hundred! I am continuing to create my life. I have a few goals for the future. My next goal is to get my own apartment. That one should be able to happen soon. I would also like to get all of my debt paid off by the time I am done with school (2 years). When I am finished with school I want to be able to buy my first house. I want to graduate with my bachelors in Elementary Education and teach Kindergarten or first grade. If some guy comes along and wants to support me in these plans as well as make some new ones with me great, but I don't need him to make it happen :)